3:00 AM

It’s 3 AM I’m awake… nothing out of the ordinary.  What’s more annoying is that I have to wake at 8:30 AM… I know that’s not terribly early for a lot of people, but might I remind you that it’s 3 AM and I’m just starting this post.  So, to me, 8:30 IS EARLY.

I hate the 3 AM time period, I always have.  Little good comes from this time.  Most clubs are closing or closed, depending on where you live.  Average men are kicking their prostitutes out and the more aggressive ones are just starting.  There’s a particular type of cop out at 3 AM, and they’re usually not the ones checking parking meters.  3 AM is when you wake to odd, startling sounds you can never quit peg.  It’s when nightmares dace and you’re too thirsty to sleep but to tired to get out of bed for water.  For me, this time frame brings back all sorts of horrific memories and so I usually beg myself to sleep through it.  Not tonight though.  Tonight though the sleeping pill has already been swallowed hours ago and still I lay, exhausted and yet wide awake.  I figure there’s no sense more tossing around my covers, so I might as well write.

It’s a lonely hour of night.  Cool and eerily quiet.  It’s an hour that I’m sure has been featured in hundreds of horror films.  Some people even refer to it as the devil’s hour… or apply other such colloquialisms.   It’s a good point of reference for exaggerated stories too as you don’t often hear people referring to 4 or 2 am when recounting a crazy night out with “the boys”.  It’s an hour of troubles.

I remember walking home at 3 AM one morning after a particularly rough night.  The buses weren’t running at that hour and our city had a crappy transit system anyway.  It was safer just to walk, though my feat were hating me.  It had started to rain pretty heavily and my shoes were soppy excuses for leather at this point.  The water was coming down so heavily from my bangs that my eyes felt as though they were open inside a backyard pool.  I could make out a row of streetlights along the road I was walking and kept saying to myself, “Just make it to the next light and you’ll be OK, just make it to the next light and you’ll be OK.

I heard the sound of a car, assumed it was a cop, and ducked behind some bushes.  (Officials didn’t think kindly of 15 year old girls walking in skimpy, wet clothing alongside a road at 3 AM.)  In my pausing for the black and white to pass I stated to shake from the cold.  “If I could just make it to the next road light, if I could just make it to 4 AM, it would all be fine.”  I tasted metal in my mouth where the blood still flowed as a result of the idiot john who had smack me earlier.  “I’ll be fine…” I say, and kept walking… 4 AM and the last of the road light poles will be here soon enough.

May this blog serve as an education to those who do not yet know or understand the atrocities of trafficking and may it serve as an encouragement to those who understand it all too well.

(Post originally written 3/12/12 – 3:00 AM)
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2 Comments

  1. It’s interesting to me how most of the women I know who were hookers are awake at 3 AM even years after they quit. It’s been 20 years since my last trick and I’m awake at 3 am most mornings, even if I’ve gone to sleep earlier. Or if I’ve taken a sleeping pill. I wonder if it’s biological or training.

    And you’re right, 3 AM is EVIL.

    Reply
    • Yea, I know. I think there’s something to the fact that we used to be so “ON” during that time in our past lives… super on guard and active and there’s something about our bodies that just remember it…

      Reply

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