Oh, God’s Not a Pimp?

Looking back at my life I’m astonished at how much I was spared from.  Sure, I’m had more than my share of crappy experiences, but with each of those there’s still been immense protection.  Horrible circumstances that were awful to go through, that maybe I wish I was dead from, I survived.  I survived; I’m alive– that’s a million miracles in one.  I’ve used up my nine lives… I’m running on extra innings… however you want to phrase it, I’m here and I statistically shouldn’t be.

To make sense of my survival, all I could come up with was that God wanted to use me to accomplish something.  He wanted me to speak up about and out against trafficking.  He wanted me to help other people.  My thinking has been that He spared me from death so that He could use me for something in life.  I just now have realized how messed up that thinking is.  That thinking has brought me so much pressure.  What if I fail at this great task?  Will God wish that He never saved my life in the first place?

If my previous rationale was the complete truth, than what is the difference between a man who purchases me to serve him in bed and a God who purchases me (by allowing me to live) to serve Him in task?  Now stay with me here… obviously one price paid is much greater than another, but this is not the complete picture.  God’s not some low down pimp.  He didn’t spare my life because He wanted me to become His slave.  (Our God is not in the business of creating slaves; He is in the work of freeing them.)  God spared my life simply because He loved me.  True love is supposed to not keep count, not expect anything in return. (1 Cor. 13)

God did not cause this pain in my life so that I would make a good anti-trafficking advocate one day.  That logic goes against His very definition of love.  Instead, He fought for me and allowed me to live, so that I would get a chance to experience what real love felt like.  It was then that He, knowing my personality intimately, allowed me opportunities to redeem my story.  He knows that I’m a “doer” and that I would need a tangible way to rectify my past.  Because of His grace to my heart He provided avenues for me to take a stand and be a voice.

So this, my friends, is my revelation in a snippet: Because of God’s love, He spared my life.  Because of His grace, He has given me an opportunity to serve Him in this fight against injustice.

May this blog serve as an education to those who do not yet know or understand the atrocities of trafficking and may it serve as an encouragement to those who understand it all too well.

(Post originally written 6/11/12)

Leave a comment


  1. “God did not cause this pain in my life so that I would make a good anti-trafficking advocate one day.”
    I love this statement.

  2. from one believer to another, what an amazing way to see things…what satan intends for evil God will use for good. i am looking forward to following!

  3. Anonymous

     /  June 27, 2012

    I get so many emails, I’ve gone to therapists, I hear people give advice; but the one thing I’ve wanted to hear is another survivor speak her truth. I look forward to your blogs. Theyre the only things I dont delete or unsubscribe to. I know I’ve been directed home to a place where few other people understand or even have a right to. Lately, I do feel like I’m the failed example, an ineffective advocate with nothing to offer. I’ve been asking myself why did God given me my past, is it all for nothing because that was a pretty high price to pay for the lessons to be useless to anyone. Thank you. I will reflect on your insights.

    • Wow… thank YOU for encouraging ME that this blog is worth it. I wonder how many times a day you or I wonder, “Does anybody get it? Get me?” Thanks for your honesty with me… I’ll keep writing because of you. 🙂

  4. Nik

     /  June 27, 2012

    I’m certainly glad you turned the corner on your thinking. He’s a awesome God who wants nothing more than to bring glory to Himself by showering you with His abundant love.

  5. I am sorry for what has happened to you and I wish you a very happy life from now on x


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