All About the M-O-N-E-Y

Money is one of the biggest triggers for me.  Nothing sends me into a spiral near depression like being low on money does.  Let me back up to explain…

Money conversations were common in my household growing up, but it wasn’t talk of stocks and bonds.  It was talk of how money doesn’t grown on trees and certainly not on our trees.  It was more complaining then financial planning.  My father was really into conspiracy theories and how banks and “the Man” were out to get you.  I was constantly told “you need to pull your weight or we’re going to starve”— hence him forcing me to work in the sex industry.  The “Life”, the “Game” of sex… it’s always about the money.  It’s about greed and an easy way out for people to make cash and act superior– but really, it’s all the money.

I think I do pretty well with my funds, though I’m sure I could do better.  I know how to get what I need out of a little– stretching the  dollar you might say.  I’m a firm believer in tithing and in general being generous with your finances.  (I’ve been so blessed by other people throughout life and God has always been my provider so I really just can’t see another way of operating.)  I don’t over-shop and I’m not afraid to return those inevitable impulse buys that sometimes happen.  All this being said however, I’ve pretty much always lived paycheck to paycheck and have had to come up with creative ways to get the bills paid.  It’s one of my biggest stressors.

It used to be that when my family was backed into a financial corner, the sale of my body would get us out.  It used to be that when my family was out of food, I’d be the last to eat.  The correlation between being broke and being raped is clear and it makes me sick.  I look at my bank account even now and the lower it gets, the more nauseated I feel.  The more it drops, the more seriously frightened I become that my world’s going to fall apart and I’m going to feel again what it means to starve.  I haven’t used my body as a financial bail-out since I moved from under my father’s control, but I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t tempting at times.  It’s not rational to think that I’ll starve but it is rational to hate the love of money.

Wishing that the world wasn’t so controlled by money is nice but it’s not going to change anything.  As much as finances stress me out, I am SO glad that I have a job I love instead of one that makes me a million dollars a year.  I’d much rather live generously than live selfishly knowing that if you even make $1,000 (USD) a month you STILL are in the top 10% or so of the world’s wealthiest.  Please take a moment to see where your own income falls by clicking here (it’s a little outdated but still handy.)  Also, read through some of these mind-blowing statistics, like the fact that 1 in every 2 children in our world are living in poverty or that 80% of humanity lives on less than $2.50 a day— 80%!  Let’s you and me take a step towards putting our money situation into perspective!  It’s one of the best ways I’ve found to minimize the stress surrounding my finances because there are people in MUCH worse situations than me and at far greater risk of being trafficked.

May this blog serve as an education to those who do not yet know or understand the atrocities of trafficking and may it serve as an encouragement to those who understand it all too well.

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